“Hold my hand,” she whispered, reaching back.
“Why, are you scared?” He teased as he grabbed her hand. She did not reply.
He glanced at the dark sky with a frown. It was midday, and yet the clouds were so thick that it seemed like night. He shivered and clenched her hand tighter.
“It’s cold,” he muttered when she glanced at him. Her lips curled upwards and she cocked a brow. He flushed.
They kept moving at her insistence. Their feet crunched withered leaves and their breaths leapt from their mouths in brief, ethereal designs.
“What’s going on, anyway? Where did everyone else go?” He stumbled over a root but ignored her sharp tsk. “Why didn’t you follow the others? Wouldn’t it have been better to stay together?”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I couldn’t let you go all by yourself.”
“My hero.”
“Hey, I’m trying to help.”
“You don’t even know what I plan on doing.”
“That’s because you won’t tell me.” He hadn’t meant to sound so whiny. “Why don’t we go back? I’m sure it’s not too late to catch up with the others.”
“They’ll be long gone by now. If they made it at all.”
“What do you mean by that?” His voice wavered.
“If they made it out of the school alive, then they’ve probably been taken to a shelter. So I’m sure they’re fine.”
For a while neither of them spoke. The wind was growing stronger and the air seemed thicker somehow. Even the sound of their steps was muffled. He wondered if his ears were plugged.
“So the accident-”
“Attack.”
“Why?” He continued as if she had not interrupted. “Why the school? It’s not like we’ve done anything.”
“Doesn’t matter. It was never about us. It was about what is underneath the school.”
“Underneath? Like, some kind of monster hiding below?”
She shot him a funny look. “The well of power. Though I guess you wouldn’t know about it. They were aiming for the – energy, I suppose you could call it.”
The ground trembled and he nearly fell, only managing to balance by leaning on a nearby tree. The air trembled and for a moment it was filled with… something. Something that felt almost viscous in his lungs. He could not breathe.
She patted his back and he coughed heavily, relief slumping his shoulders as his lungs expanded.
“Looks like they broke through the protective barriers,” she said as she stared behind them. “We have to hurry.”
Never letting go of his hand, she broke into a run. He followed quickly, unable to shake the chill that had gripped his spine.
The land began to climb and his lungs burned but he did not stop because she was still running ahead of him. He almost collided with her when she stopped at the top of the hill. Then he clapped his hand over his mouth and fought sudden nausea.
It was not so much what he saw that repulsed him. In fact, it looked almost ordinary. A black stone, about half his size, lay in the centre of a large crater. It was smoking slightly, and looking closer he could see deeper shadows writhing within flat walls and sharp angles.
The air around it was what made him gag. It was putrid. It stank of something had never encountered, but knew so intrinsically that he instinctively took a step back, because it was twisted into something unnatural and forced upon a world that was not meant to hold such an abomination.
“Why did you bring me here,” his voice cracked.
“I told you not to follow me, but you didn’t listen. Now it’s too late. You’re safer here than you are back there. Its attention has been drawn away, and it has grown careless in its victory.”
She opened her backpack and pulled out a chain. It should have been too heavy for her to lift, but she coiled it around her shoulders as one would a scarf. It made no noise, and though it had looked at first like metal, he felt foolish for thinking it could ever be made of such a weak material. Symbols glowed along each link as it shifted and then settled like a snake coiled in anticipation.
“Stay here,” she said as she placed her bag at the base of a large tree. “If anything happens, run,” she pointed away from the school and stone and herself, “North.”
She couched down and removed her shoes, placing them next to her bag. Her feet wiggled in the loose dirt. And when she stood, she seemed different. Her eyes held a glow that repelled the dark stench in the air. He had not realized how bad it was until he met her gaze.
Questions nagged his tongue. What are you? He wanted to ask. No, he wanted to shout. But he didn’t. Instead, he ignored them and crossed his arms. “Then who would guard your shoes?” He said instead, a smile finding its way onto his face, despite his low shivers and tense muscles.
It took a moment, then her eyes softened and something sparkled deep within them. She stepped forward and kissed his cheek, a mere whisper of lips upon his skin. Then she was gone, flying over the edge and towards the perversion.
His hand reached up and touched his cheek. His heart thumped loudly in his ears. And for a moment he forgot his fear.
Nice!
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Thanks! 😀
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Yes. It is my favourite piece of yours that I have read so far.
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I’m so happy that you enjoyed it so much. I hope the rest of my writing doesn’t disappoint!
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Yes. I have followed your writing for a little while now. I wonder if you would be interested in exchanging more detailed feedback. I am a teacher-writer like you. I have many years experience supporting writers to develop their skills. I would be interested in sending you more information, if you would like.
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I would absolutely love some more detailed feedback! I would appreciate critique on my writing :D.
And though I’m very amateur, I’d be happy to read and critique some of your writing too, if you ever want ^_^.
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Coolio! Um … I’m going to finish a piece that I have been working on. It is a short ‘critique’, to use your phrase, of your writing. I was hoping you would be ‘up for it’, to use a phrase of mine, so I got a head start. I’ll send it to you soon. Nice! ; )
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Awesome! Thank you 😀
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Christine, you should e-mail me.
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That was beautifully written. Bravo! You may want review for typos and missing words, though. There’s only two or three spots. I’m not insinuating in any way that this doesn’t happen to me, too– it does. I just wish someone would point them out or tell ME to re-read. That’s why I’m mentioning it. I really enjoyed it, though. Well done, my fellow writer. Well done.
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BTW, if you want to post my comment without the typo part, I will be happy to re-comment. It sucks having corrections on your blog, but I saw that you moderate so I didn’t think you’d mind.
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Corrections are fine! Mistakes are human and bound to happen ;).
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Hey, thank you!
And thanks for critiquing as well. I edited this when I was super tired, so I undoubtedly missed stuff. I’m glad you’re pointing them out! Though I’m actually having trouble spotting them (probably because I’ve reread it so many times that I’m glossing over them). Any help pointing them out would be much appreciated!
And I’m really glad you enjoyed it :D.
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I’ll re-read and show you the specifics. But… my pitch just made it into #PitchMadness so I’m tied up for the rest of the week. I’ll be back in touch over the weekend. Okay?
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For sure! Thanks so much 😀
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Love this.
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Thank you!
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Great work….
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Thank you!
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Super fun 🙂
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Glad you enjoyed it!
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this was great. I want more 🙂 haha
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Thanks! 😀 I haven’t planned anything more from this piece, but who knows!
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Wonderfully Lovecraftian
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Thank you! 😀
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Wonderful piece! Well done! 🙂 I love it.
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Thank you!!
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And now my curiosity is knocking on the back door: “Hello! Anybody there? Please, quench my thirst. I need more.”
Wonderful piece. 😉
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Hehe I’ll see if I can come up with a worthy sequel. I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
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wow!!!! awesome story and enjoy reading it….
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Thanks!! 😀
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Fantastic story! Every flash I’ve read today has been scifi, including mine, lol. Many thanks for reading it.
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Cheers! Glad you enjoyed it :D.
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Wow that was great! Really enjoyed the way you allowed the story to unravel. Nicely paced. Great use of sensory detail esp breaths in ethereal designs.
Can I ask what inspired it? How long did you spend crafting/writing?
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Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!!
I wanted to write something a little bit action/adventure-y. A little bit more exciting than my other recent posts.
I also wanted to write a little bit of romance between two independent characters who, despite their fears, are able to make decisions on their own.
So I somehow came up with this. Didn’t really plan much ahead. Just had the idea of them running through a forest. The backstory came as I wrote. This was probably only possible because I kept it short and simple. Normally I’ll do a bit more planning if it’s going to be longer.
I think it took me around 30-40 minutes to write this. And I edited it for probably 20-30 minutes, which is why there are many things I could change or fix. But I couldn’t wait and wanted to post it :D.
I hope this gives you a good idea of the process I went through! Always happy to answer more questions =].
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Keep going with it 🙂 Have you read Divergent?
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I will!
I haven’t, though I’ve heard it’s a good read! I’ve been meaning to check it out, though my list of books to read is ridiculously long :D.
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Same here. I read book one of the trilogy and your story reminded me of it. WIll be interesting to see if the movie adaptation is a success.
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Hopefully it is! The trailer looked pretty good :D.
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I imagine that if it had predated The Hunger Games and Twilight it would be a smash. May just be me though.
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Hmm, well if it’s good, hopefully it’ll gain a good following as well. I’ve definitely seen some posts about it on Tumblr.
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It gives me a feel that you are about to screw up the new novel just for the sake of it. It’s like Road to Avonlea turned into Final Fantasy. In case you don’t know about it, it’s one of the best Canadian TV shows in history. You were probably too young to watch it in the 90’s. However, those in their 30’s certainly know about the show.
Anyhow, everyone seems positive about this new chapter. I must agree with them. Congrats!
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I’m glad you enjoyed this story.
It is not a part of the Changeling Child series, though. I have made a note at the bottom of each Changeling Child post. “Is He Well” is the latest.
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Sorry about that. I’ll pay more attention to your footnote then. It’s just that the boy seems to be the same character that I got confused.
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I am enthralled with your style Christine. It’s is pristine and surreal. Can I reblog it?
Thanks 🙂
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Thank you!! And of course you can! I’m honoured!
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Lines like this blow my writer-self to pieces, just amazing: “Questions nagged his tongue.” Great way of putting it.
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Thanks so much! I’m glad you like my wording. I sometimes worry it’s a little bit incomprehensible.
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Yes, I understand what you mean, but I also think it is worth taking the risk, and I think your risk worked.
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Thank you 😀
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Welcome 🙂
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Wow!! This is nice. You did a great job
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Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it 😀
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